I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
