just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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