My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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