nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
