why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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