I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
