yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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