There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
