Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
