i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize