I have demons in me.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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