Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
