all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
