I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
