Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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