the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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