i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
be right there i have to get my cape
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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