I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
