WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
