hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
