so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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