My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
