Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
