PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
