I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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