if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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