so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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