That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
