so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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