and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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