You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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