Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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