he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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