So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
