Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
