Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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