First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
