I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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