I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
They are going to name an STD after you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
