Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
