and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
