Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
