the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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