My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
