why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
