when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
