he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize