You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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