Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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