I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I smell stomach acid.
i just had sex bonerless
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
