I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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