I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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