I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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