Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
