I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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