She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
