I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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