That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
