I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
