Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I faked an abortion last night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
