The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
