Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
