Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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