I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
