hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
