every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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