Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
