I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
