I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
