so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
