you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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