he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
