Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
