dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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