this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
