Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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